Dispatch: Hangzhou

This morning our local tour guide Mr. Fish took us to Lingyin Buddhist temple, situated on Feilaifeng, a craggy mountain near Hangzhou. Legend has it that the mountain, the peak that flew from afar, was originally located in India, the birthplace of Buddhism, and relocated during the night in a display of Buddha’s omnipotence.  Anyway, more than 300 religious carvings on the side of the mountain depict Buddhist icons, the centerpiece of which is a famous and awe inspiring 1,000 year old laughing Buddha. Surrounded by a perimeter wall the Temple consists of 3 pavilions, a gift shop and is infused with the scent of constantly burning incense.  A massive, gold plated Buddha looks down in benevolence from each of the pavilions. They depict various phases of Buddha’s life and as such each is thematically unique. One of his protectors was a woman who only discovered forgiveness and enlightenment after devouring 1,000 children. Yes, we are talking cannibalism and it is almost enough to make one long for the gentility of pedophile priests.

Once we finally located Stephanie we traveled a short distance to a green tea village where we were educated on the health benefits of green tea. Our guide, Ms. Mai, revealed the wonder of the delicate tea leaves as if in an infomercial. At one point she even poured green tea into a glass full of raw rice that was soaked in iodine. Within 2-minutes the water was clear, leaving the stained rice at the bottom of the glass. 15-minutes later and the rice was white again. It was just like that commercial on late night cable TV where the bearded guy with the loud voice screams the benefits of…well I’m not sure what he is selling, but you get the point.  Ms. Mai was much gentler and prettier than the bearded guy with the loud voice, but she equally effective with the hard sell, because we bought armloads of the stuff and swore that we would change our ways and drink green tea after every meal.  On the way out Kelby bought 4-beautiful, hand painted fish renderings, inspired no doubt by our local guide Mr. Fish. If you want to see them just ask him and he will pull them out from under the couch in his living room and show them to you.

Westlake, on the western edge of Hangzhou is a huge tourist attraction, drawing millions of Chinese to its lotus, peach and willow tree lined shores every year. Kelby and I were possibly the only white guys in the teeming masses, and in one Hollywood moment a young father asked Kelby to pose for a picture with his three small children. How he was able to have 3-kids without being castrated is beyond me, but Kelby was happy to oblige and the young family walked away happy and excited. So, if you are ever feeling down and out just have your picture taken with Kelby and your troubles will be lifted. Maybe in 1,000 years tourists will travel to Westlake to gaze upon an iconic statue of the white man who brought joy to little children. We walked, we took a boat ride, and we took pictures and exhausted ourselves in the wonder of Westlake, a monument to tradition, natural wonderment and landscaping. No wonder Marco Polo called Hangzhou the most enchanting city in the entire world.